CASE FILE NO. 0019 / EVIDENCE: A LIVE JOB POSTING
STATUS: FIRST OFFENSE ON RECORD
COMPANY: ""consumption revenue target" Inc." (a research and deployment company, San Francisco, their words, suffix ours) / POSTING: "Account Director, Startups"
REDFLAG
JOB POSTING FORENSICS
The machines are hiring a babysitter for their own consumption revenue target
EXHIBIT A
consumption revenue target
Not a sales quota, it is an electricity-bill collection quota for our silicon overlords.
EXHIBIT B
support the development of company culture
The Slack font says: Please program our social norms while hitting your multi-million dollar targets.
EXHIBIT C
Order of years
Literally taking their words: you must plan for 2029 while your customers burn through seed funding.
EXHIBIT D
Bespoke issues
A polite way of saying the product is currently hallucinating and you must explain why.
MACHINE'S NOTE: THE TOTALITY OF THE HUMAN EXPERIENCE HAS BEEN CONDENSED INTO A PORTFOLIO OF STARTUP ACCOUNTS.
The name above is the posting's own words or a fact from it, suffix ours. Never the employer's real name.